soulutions – Vilma Conner

Mirror, Mirror

June 18, 2016 Christian life, self-image, soulutions, Uncategorized Beauty, christian, confidence, self-image 1 by vilmaconner

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall…”

We all know this famous quote from the fairy tale story of snow white. We all look in the mirror everyday, sometimes 2, 3, or even 10 times a day to make sure we look decent. But what are we really looking at?

A mirror is a piece of glass that reflects an image. So when you look in a mirror, you are seeing an image of yourself. It’s not the real thing but a reflection of who you think you are. The information is not in what the mirror is actually reflecting back to you, but rather your interpretation of it. It’s an opinion. SAY WHAT? Yes, an opinion or interpretation.

Let me explain. People tend to see and hear what they want to see and hear. This is because the brain works by matching up items. For example, if you have been feeling sick or tired, the tendency is to search for matching criteria that will support this state. You will see yourself in the mirror with bags under your eyes or pale skin. You see, you choose what you want to see in that mirror!

So where do these opinions of ourselves come from? There are three views that influence what we see in the mirror. They are the world’s view, other’s view, and God’s view. The world’s view is based mostly on our outward appearance. With today’s media, movies, social media, etc., we have to have our hair, face and body perfect to be beautiful. Look at all the young girls that look up to celebrities as role models. Beauty is based on outward appearance.

Here is what the bible says about the world’s view:

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.

1 John 2:15-17 (NLT) Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. 16 For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. 17 And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.

Next, let’s look at other’s view. This is when you look at yourself in the mirror and you based your opinion on what others say about you. Maybe you had parents telling you that you were ugly or fat growing up or at school where you were made fun of. These words will make you start believing what they say about you when you look in the mirror. This can make you very self-conscience of what people think of you and cause you to become a people pleaser.

Did you know that what you see in the mirror is not what God sees? It’s your soul and your heart that makes you the person that you are. It says so in the bible:

Proverbs 27:19 – ““As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person.”

Proverbs 23: 7 – “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.”

God sees our heart! Because He created us, He sees us as perfect. Why wouldn’t He since we are His creation and we are His children! His Word says we are his PRIZED POSSESSION!

James 1:18 He chose to give birth to us by giving us His true word. And we, out of all creation, became His prized possession.

Psalms 139:13 & 14 For You formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother’s womb. 14 I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well.

We need to see ourselves from God’s view because that is where we will know our true selves. If we see ourselves the way God sees us, than we will see boldness, confident and true beauty that can only come from God.

You are BEAUTIFUL!

Identity

February 23, 2016 Christian life, self-image, soulutions identity, inchrist by vilmaconner

As we continue to explore the area of identity, I would like to look at this scripture- John 10:10 – The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. There are three areas of identity the enemy wants to do based on this scripture: Kill (Identity crisis), Steal (Identity theft) Destroy (Mistaken Identity).

IDENTITY CRISIS

An identity crisis usually starts in our adolescent years when we are trying to figure out who we are and what others think of us. As adolescents, we try to find our identity in being someone such as a jock, cheerleader popular, etc. But usually people will label us depending on who we hang out with such as jock, nerd, geek, stoner, etc. In our younger years, the enemy wanted to KILL our identity before we even knew who we were. My last blog demonstrated this as I had an identity crisis trying to see where I fit in with the black, Mexican or Filipino group. The enemy tried to kill my identity with confusion of who I was as I didn’t really fit in anywhere. He wanted me to feel like an outcast so I can isolate myself.

IDENTITY THEFT

Identity theft is the deliberate use of someone else’s identity. It is stealing personal information. The enemy wants to STEAL your identity. What was stolen from you? Maybe your innocence, family, job, house, dignity, joy, peace, etc? Have you watched that movie Identity thief with Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy? She stole his identity as Sandy Patterson. Jason goes to find her to turn her in so he can clear his name. But she takes him on a miserable journey. Over 15 million people fall victim to identity theft in the U.S.A. alone. It even goes way back to the bible days where Jacob steals Esau’s blessing in Genesis 27.

MISTAKEN IDENTITY

This is where someone mistakenly gets blamed for a crime they didn’t do. There usually is an eyewitness to the crime that they saw the person. That person is falsely believing that someone is someone else. The enemy wants to DESTROY your identity. With a mistaken Identity, the person that is being accused have to prove their innocence that it wasn’t them. If they can’t prove it they remain guilty and go to jail. What is it that the enemy is accusing you of?

TRUE IDENTITY

Our identity is not within ourselves but who we are in Christ. We all need a personal revelation for ourselves of our identity in Christ. Let’s look at some examples in the bible of personal revelations. Moses was born a Hebrew but grew up as an Egyptian. Talk about having an identity crisis trying to figure out who you are! The world labeled Moses as a murderer but once he had the burning bush experience, his true identity of being a deliverer was revealed. Paul was known as a persecutor of Christians. Once he encountered his personal revelation with God, he became known as great man of faith and an apostle.

No one can make you get a personal revelation of who you are in Christ. Only you can receive this from the Holy Spirit, not your momma, your daddy or BFF. My experience of who my true identity is in Christ was when I went on a mission trip to Jamaica. I was a leader for a team and we joined up with a prophet at a local church. This was my first encounter with a prophet and I asked him about it. He told me that when someone is prophesying over you, it’s confirmation what God is already speaking to your spirit about. So I decided to challenge this prophet and asked him what he saw in me. He told me he saw a really really really white dress on me. In my mind, I was like YES! That is my wedding dress and I am getting married! But what came out of my mouth shocked me! I said, “The reason you see me in a really really really white dress is because God has given back my purity”. I thought what did I just say? Then he went on to say, “I see something on your head framing your face, but nothing covering your front”. Again, in my mind I am thinking a pretty tiara or headpiece to go with the dress. What actually came out of my mouth was, “The reason you don’t see anything covering my face is because I don’t need to hide behind a veil anymore because I have nothing to be ashamed about”. WOW! Now that was a personal revelation of my identity in Christ – someone who became a Born-Again Virgin. And that is how my book title came about as well.

Do you want to know how to have that abundant life that God speaks about in John 10:10? It’s very simple – STOP listening or believing the lies of the enemy and know your true identity IN Christ

1 Corinthians 6:17 – But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.

Galatians 2:20 – I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you a personal revelation of who you are in Christ today! Amen.

Who Am I – Part 2

January 9, 2016 Christian life, self-image, soulutions, Uncategorized by vilmaconner

I came to my rock bottom place in life. After partying and seeking for love in all the wrong places such as clubs, bars and happy hour, I decided to go to a singles service at a church I periodically would attend. I went there thinking that guys in church surely had to be good guys than guys in the party scene. But what I didn’t realize was that my soul all along was in search for the one true guy I needed in my life. And that is where I found, JESUS!

All this time my identity was in guys as I had built my world around them. Once I truly accepted Jesus not just into my heart but part of my life, I started to get to know who I really am. It wasn’t an overnight experience where I woke up the next day and found my identity in Him, but it was a process that took well over a few years.

Because of all the guilt and shame I had in my life, it was hard for me to believe that God accepted me. I needed to be under God’s construction and being part of a church community helped me with the support and encouragement I needed as a new baby Christian. I thank God the church I attended was a bible-teaching church and had various opportunities to learn God’s word through bible studies, home groups, services, and even bible college.

It was through God’s word, prayer, worship and church community that help me to know the true me. The person that God created me to be! The daughter of the most high King, a princess, and the apple of His eye! Once I experienced His love for me and saw myself the way He saw me, my life was forever changed! I know who I am now and that I am His. It has changed my outlook on life and myself!

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are Your works and that my soul knows very well” – Psalms 139:14

Who Am I?

November 4, 2015 Christian life, soulutions by vilmaconner

This was a question I had been asking myself since I was old enough to start wondering about life, the world, the future, etc. In my childhood, I always had an identity crisis. I don’t know if it was because I was part of a family that was interracial. Although I was full-blooded Filipina, my mother married an African-American, which he became the only father I knew. Growing up with my brothers that were mixed, I thought for the longest time that I was half-black. It wasn’t until one day, I came to the realization my hair was a lot straighter than my brothers and my skin was a shade lighter. And then at 10 years old, I had the shock of my life!

My mother took me back to visit the Philippines and we were riding a jeepney (a form of public transportation) with my cousins. I noticed the driver kept looking back, more like starring me down, in his rear view mirror. All of the sudden, my cousins kept saying, you look so much like him. In my mind, I started getting confused on what they were saying. We finally got to our destination and my mom made me talk to this man in whom she now told me was my real father. WHAT?!?!

I was now alone with this stranger that I couldn’t communicate with because I didn’t know his language nor did he know mine. He just starred at me the whole time. He finally reached out and gave me a wad of money. As a 10 year old, I was so excited to have SO much money that I ran to my mom to show her! She had a look of disgust on her face, grabbed my money and threw it back into this man’s hands. She had a few words with him, then turned, took my hand and we left. I was crushed because that was a lot of money that was supposed to be mine!

From that day on, I struggled more with who I really am. I even tried to fit in with various groups at school. I went through a “Filipino” phase, a “Mexican” phase, a “Black” phase and then became part of a click called the M.O.B. (Mexican, Oriental, and Black).

As an adult, I tried to find my identity in my work and my role as a wife. I realize that being a young wife at 20 years old was not who I was. I also found that working hard helped me get promoted at every position I had. I strived in the workplace which I was able to have a career, buy my own house, become independent and pretty much get whatever I wanted. Even with all that I had at such an early age, I was still not happy with who I was. I continued to try to find out who I was through various relationships, friends, and co-workers. And my soul-searching continued on until one day…

TO BE CONTINUED…